Mood: fatigued Listening to: XodiacK - Kimi no koe
It is as if I'm going to pass out or something. I don't know. I've tried seeing if it was me being tired or something but, I look at my spinning mood ring and it's been black for a while and it's not me being tired at all. Yesterday, I'd been feeling like my heart is pushing hard to keep me stable. This all started after I finished up with making these fanmail runs to Hikaru Utada and feeling encouraged by everyone here.
Again, I don't know what it is. I have nearly $200 but, I'm saving it for something more, eventhough I still need to get checked up at a doctors office or clinic. I'm going to continue to fight this off no matter what. But, I may have some kind of illness that keeps making my heart feel so heavy all the time.
I have fought it for so long, I guess this is a sign, saying that my body is ready to give in... but whenever I'm ready.
If only there was some kind of way I could put myself in cryogenetic sleep, I'd do it. Maybe then, when I wake up years after, I'd feel better. I slept, waking up, feeling really weakened.
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