Sleepless Night Part 1

Theme: BONNIE PINK - No One Like You

Unlike any other sleepless night, this one is quite different from the others. There is normally just too much on my mind but, at this time, a little more has been added in these thoughts and yet, I feel sleepy but, I can't... ...

First thought, the signing of a 60 day moving term "whatever its called". My idiot 28 year old sister had to sign a paper in order to get something done for 60 days to move out of this apartment but, management wanted to cause some problems and tell her that the notice for 30 days has already been looked at and can't change. Boy, did they pull a fast one. Yet, they are such liars. According to the time limit, there is too much furniture to be moved within 30 unless movers are called for assistance. Other than that, her idiot bf made stupid gestures and remarks LIKE an idiot trying to fix things but, my sis got pissed off even more than she was already and "called the world... ... by phone".

In my case, my mother of course, won't allow me to come back into her home coz she thinks that me and my step father will do nothing but argue everytime something doesn't feel, go, or seem right or whatever. I used to hate him but, I can't hold such a burden now that I'm getting older. Besides that, we don't even talk to each other that much. There is still tension between the two of us. I can feel it everytime we come close or just cross each others path.

Not to worry coz I might just go into the Police force. Screw the military, the police pay more. Speaking of it, I went to the police station today for info and got it of course, but before so, my idiot sister kept trying to criticize the way I speak. I never told her but, she makes me nervous when I'm talking to someone when she's around. I hate it when people do that. I'd rather speak the way I always do. I'm me, not anyone else, so I do what I do.

So, after we got back, we ate Lumpia and went on about our business though she was still pissed and ranting and raving all day about the first event and fussed at her bf for being a stupid idiot. I forgot about the whole police thing coz I was and still am nervous about it. So, I cleaned my sister's laptop which is technically mine since she has only used it once and I used it since forever, of all my music and transferred it all to my three mp3 players when I stumbled across some american rock bands, mainly Sevendust, Muse, Nonpoint, U2, Red, and I forgot the others. I listened to songs from Sevendust and instantly, I got that chill throughout my entire body and BAM!!! back to my depressed state, just that fast.

So, from that time, all I have been doing was thinking. Thinking thinking thinking...

Even when I played the ps2, I was thinking. So, I turned it off and started listening to more music. I left thr jrock and vk alone and wanted to give it a break so,Bonnie Pink was my first choice and Yuko Ando, my second.

I started by listening to a few songs from Bonnie's Heaven's Kitchen single and begin thinking some more and listening to the current song, the theme of this blog, I started thinking about how lonely I am and have been for the past 4 years without a soulmate. It really sucks not having someone to love and cherish like a soulmate and ever since my heart got shattered, it's been feeling like a stone and like there is a lump in my throat. I've done nothing but shed tears throught out the time my very being was damaged on the inside, even to this day. And because my precious jewel, my niece, Callise is now distant away and I have no one to talk to or have the best time with anymore. It seems like everyone is being either pushed or pulled away and for no reason and GOD is making me suffer. But, why, for too long and for what reason!?

So ends this sleepless night as I forget somethings to say. I know I have and I know what to say but can't find the right way to express or say it.

Off to dream world I go. I wonder what predictions my dreams will make this time.